Stats for the Record

I am a fan, doesn't matter the sport, I watch it. To survive in this household, you either learned to watch sports or work. Since I can't work all the time, (big laugh) I've learned to enjoy "most" sports. But I think I would really like to work on the stats for the record of "_____" in football. During the Colts' game today, we were bombarded with stat record after stat record. For example, the Colts set a record for going 9-0 in consecutive seasons. The Patriots had a chance to go 58 wins without consecutive losses. I turned to my daughter and said I wonder if they have a record for the player to use the least amount of paper after his restroom break. Bet they have records for

• largest hocker heaved by a player weighing less than 200,
• biggest area covered by sweat dropping from a player's face,
• shortest restroom break during a game,
• consecutive games without leaving the bench,
• most pounds dropped during practice,
• most games played without losing a helmet or shoe,
• longest interview without saying "you know,"
• interview with the most unintelligible words spoken,
• and a record for our house that continues to be broken, the most games watched during a 3-hour period.