Feelings of Worthlessness

I went to a professional workshop/meeting for my job as teacher. I sat through the 1/2 day session, listening intently, and all the while feeling less and less worthy as a teacher. The subject matter was teaching vocabulary to fourth graders in tiers while using our new reading series. In the meeting with me were all the other teachers of fourth grade in our school corporation. A few teachers were vocal about what methods they were using, what worked for them, what didn't work, etc. Most of us expressed frustration in managing our new reading series, working in all the components, or figuring out what we should leave out. But most of the teachers do not work with a classroom of struggling readers as a few of us do. While they talked of teaching vocabulary beyond background knowledge, I sat there knowing how deficient my students are in the everyday knowledge of vocabulary. How do I work in the vocabulary lessons for Reading, Science, Social Studies, and Health and teach all that is expected of me? Well, I began to shut down during the meeting, overwhelmed with even the thought of planning for the task. Instead of learning from the workshop, I came away feeling totally worthless as a teacher, one who is ineffective. It will take several weeks for me to overcome this negative feeling and return to reality and the knowledge that YES, I do know how to teach my students, and I do know how to meet their educational needs. But for now, I will struggle with these feelings of ineptitude.