You may be in Texas...

My husband and I were in Texas recently for a conference for him. We received many brochures, some of interest, some of trash. Here are a few YOU MAY BE IN TEXAS IN JULY IF... from one of the better brochures, the NACBA GRAM of July 15, 2007.

• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
• The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt, and pepper.
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
• The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Now a few of mine...

• The road you are looking to turn on has at least 4 different names.
• You take I35 East to go south.
• On your return trip, you still take the same I35 East to go north. (We had to turn around and retrace on that one.)
• You sunburn through your bathing suit.
• There are few outdoor swimming pools.
• A rain shower produces flooding.
• Existing trees are protected.
• A skirt is on sale for $145.00 at an outlet store for Neiman Marcus. (The original price was $2,290.00. I'll take two.)
• Just up the road means many miles.
• A meal serves two, even if it is listed for one.
• People are very friendly.